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Office Lingo

I'm not sure about you but I come across some funny (or even hilarious) office lingo where I work once in a while.  Some of them have been so popular that it's ingrained in our daily conversations that it's not funny anymore.  My team always jokes about putting a list together (some pretty ludicrous) and so here is my attempt.  I sit in the weekly senior management meeting where bankers come and present deals for approvals and you hear fascinating phrases during this time.  Seriously I try so hard not to laugh and keep a straight face.

1) Low Hanging Fruits
What it means: Easy wins in the context of projects.
"Guys we need to target the low hanging fruits in this project.  Identify the easy ones and let's go live asap.  Let's leave the difficult ones for phase 2."
The funniest one was where a banker used this phrase, attempting to justify lending a client money saying there are "low hanging fruits" for grabs.  And one of the senior MDs shot back saying "I believe you gotta climb pretty high for this one!"
(lol.  Straight face, Bel.)

2) Holding the pen
What it means: the person leading the project/ task.
"Right so we have 5 people in this working group.  Who is holding the pen here?"

3) Moving the needle
What it means: impactful (or not)
"With all these extra work we've done in the past week, the outcome we've got doesn't seem to move the needle!"

4) Feasting at the table or Sharing the spoils
What it means: figuratively; usually used in the context of other banks feasting at the table with us
"So by lending this client $100mm you say we will get more business in the form of i, ii, and iii.  Why is Bank XYZ also feasting at the same table as us if they don't lend them the same amount of money?!"

5) In our tent
What it means: on our side.
"Are they in our tent?  If so, why are they saying this?"
Can also be used in a statement "We are not in their tent anymore since the new CEO of the company assumed his role."

6) The "Come to Jesus talk"
What it means: ???
"So the returns of this loan is horrible.  And we are not getting any other business.  Has anyone spoken to the client and had a come-to-Jesus-talk yet??"
I had to ask a banker after the meeting what this phrase means.  And she said "Oh I think it means come to Jesus and all will be revealed".
Huh??  Reveal what?
What it means to me: Converting someone to Christianity?  This is the funniest one in my view.  Straight face, Bel!


Have you got any interesting/ funny/ hilarious office lingo to share?
Try incorporating some of these lingo at work and try impressing someone, or more like making someone laugh today.

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