Dear Isabelle | 24 months

Dear Isabelle

It has been a whirlwind month and now that your younger sibling is gonna make an appearance soon, mummy has been feeling a mixed bag of emotions.  I guess it is a learning journey for mummy and daddy.  Ok more of mummy since we have been spending so much time together in the past 2 years.  Mummy has effectively been home with you for most of your life, having just gone back to work for a few months before stopping work again.

You have grown and developed leaps and bounds and we are always extremely proud of you seeing how much you are talking and learning - it's amazing.  We make proper conversations with you and the questions you come up with these days are amusing and cute.  Sometimes I wish I could be fast enough to record them down.

Somehow you know to ask "How are you today, mummy?" when you see me in the morning.  The other day mummy sat with you in our car in the driveway while you napped away (mummy has given up on transferring you lest you wake up).  When you opened your eyes in the car seat, you immediately asked "Where's mummy?" and when I turned around from the driver's seat to answer you, you asked me very politely "Shall we go in(to the house)?"  I was stunned.  Mummy typically locks your bedroom door at bedtime until you are fast asleep and we will unlock your door for the rest of the night.  I know you don't like it - and we don't either - but we need to stop you from running out x number of times otherwise.  Sometimes you try to open the door and cry in protest.  The other day you asked mummy "Why you close the door, mummy?"  I think you meant why did you lock the door, and I could only smile, perhaps a little sheepishly.

Mummy has read up on some parenting articles for toddlers and one tip is to offer you choices instead of giving you a chance to say no; so for example you might not like to brush your teeth.  Instead of telling you to brush your teeth and getting a "no I don't want", mummy always asks you "Is it the pink or yellow toothbrush today, Isabelle?"  So because of this tip, mummy gives you quite a few choices to make everyday.  Choices like what do you want for breakfast.  Or what do you want to watch on Youtube?  You are getting very good at telling us your preferences.  These days when Youtube shows a particular song or video which doesn't take your fancy, you will ask for the remote control and pass it to mummy and tell me "I don't like.. not nice. Mummy change.."  And you actually make the audible "mmm... mmm..." sound when you are thinking about what choice to make.  It's pretty cute.

I don't know how much a typical 2 year old toddler speaks but I have a feeling you are speaking way more than an average kid.  At least that's what your childminder tells me.  She also adores you and said to mummy the other day she wishes she can raise you as hers and keep you forever.  (What?  No...)

Celebrating your birthday at the childminder's

Zara, an assistant at your childcare has been a tremendous help to mummy.  She has been helping to bring you home in the month of December, bless her.  She needs to walk to the bus stop near our house to get home and hence volunteered to bring you home for mummy.  Mummy is so grateful she doesn't have to waddle out in the cold (and mostly rain) to pick you up.  Indeed, Jesus has been sending angels our way, to help mummy in this pregnancy - hallelujah.

So yes, mummy has been feeling all emotional thinking about possibly halving my love for you when the new baby arrives.  Feeling guilty that I won't be able to spend as much time with you anymore.  It's a difficult one.  Thankfully mummy's friends have told me that God will naturally expand my heart to love you both equally, but in different ways, according to your needs.  Someone said you will forever be my first love, and my love for the new baby will be a slow burner, but equally intense. Another gave me a tip - to be firm with you if you should act up, but extend grace to you at the same time, because it is also a very big change in family dynamics for a 2 year old.  Another said to mummy that it is merely expanding a family of 3 to 4 and God will give us the grace for it.  Mummy feels very comforted hearing all these little nuggets of truth and words from experience.  I love it that I don't have to half my love for you, but my heart is able to expand.  I pray that Jesus will continue to give us as parents, more grace and more wisdom while navigating this parenting journey.  However seeing how independent you are at this age, and how advanced you are in terms of development, we are less worried in that sense.  We know you will be an amazing and doting big sister.  We also know we have to give you time too.

Big changes are coming yes, but it's an exciting time for our little family.  Let's do this together shall we, Izzy?  Mummy is so happy that of late, you are able to lean over without any prompting and give mummy a big kiss, and also tell me "I love you, mummy".  Perhaps you know mummy needs a bit of affirmation and love these few days.

You will always be our baby, our first love

Love you so much,
Mummy & daddy xxxx